Burned Guilt
by LynnieB
Summary: Takes place right after Dorothy burned her book. Horrible at summaries, but I promise a good story.


**I do no t own any of these characters... No matter how much I wish I did. Please R&R! **

Burned Guilt

Dorothy Jennings was shaking by the time she walked back into the Gazette. The sight before her did nothing to ease her mind. Sergeant O'Conner's men left chaos in their wake. Papers were strewn across the floor. Drawers were thrown throughout the room. Chairs were turned over. All could be fixed, but his point was made.

Putting her satchel and the empty binding it contained down, Dorothy suddenly froze. Her flowers. They had been drying on her desk. She quickly looked about the floor until she found them. The jar had been smashed and the small purple and green bouquet scattered. Gathering Cloud Dancing's gift to her chest, she sat down on the floor and let the sobs overtake her.

She was in the same state when Reverend Johnson found her an hour later. Dorothy simply said, "I'm closed," when the door began to open."

"Dorothy, it's me."

"Reverend. What can I do-do for you? Can I find you to- to- tomorrow?" Dorothy didn't move from her position.

He knew she was upset. He had heard it in her voice when talking to Sergeant McKay earlier. "Are you alright?" He felt for a chair and sat down.

"Fine. Just a small mess to clean up. That's- that's all." Deep breaths were the only thing holding back more tears.

"I know it's more than that. Is Cloud Dancing alright?"

"I wish I knew. Reverend, you have to belie-"

He held up his hand. "Say no more about that to me."

Dorothy glanced at her satchel that she had carried her and Cloud Dancing's beginning in and squeezed her hands gently around her tiny security blanket. "They're not going to find the book. O'Conner and is men can look all they want, but-"she stopped and looked at the man in black before continuing,"- they'll never find it. It's gone. I bur-burned it. Everything. The book. My notes. All of it. Even if I did know something about today, I wouldn't have told him anything. The book though… I have to try and protect him… and Sully."

"You don't owe me an explanation. Dorothy, there's more though isn't there?"

The red head stood to look out the window. Soldiers were covering the town. She closed her eyes, pictured Cloud Dancing, and a shuddering smile came across her lips. It quickly turned into a new wave of tears as she blurted out, "This is all my fault."

"What do you mean?"

"The-the- All of this."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Dorothy?"

"The reason Sully helped with all of this. He- he would have continued finding another way. A better way. Sully helped because of what they did to Cloud Dancing."

"The beating from the army. I don't understand-"

"They beat him because he was TWENTY minutes late on his day pass. He was- He was with me. I had finished the book. I promised that I would get his approval before taking it to a publisher. I gave it to him for reading, but he said he wanted to... He said he wanted to hear it in my voice. I read it to him. He said it was beautiful. I could see the pride in his eyes and I can't explain how wonderful that moment felt. He walked with me a little ways before heading back to the reservation…

"… I- I- I was telling Michaela about our meeting. I was telling her how amazing I was feeling while- while they were breaking his ribs! I was smiling from ear to ear while they were- while they were- They almost killed him over a day pass meant for spending time with ME! Selfish! All I wanted was a few moments more… Just a few minutes! He only walked me through the meadow before we parted ways. If I hadn't asked him to wal-," Dorothy couldn't bring herself to finish the thought out loud. She leaned against the desk and covered her face with unsteady hands.

Reverend Johnson gave her a moment before speaking. "This is not your fault. None of it. Dorothy, do you remember when I told you I had begun having talks with Cloud Dancing?" He didn't have to see her nod to know it happened. "Whenever you walk into his line of vision, his focus is drawn away from everything. If someone speaks your name, his demeanor reacts to their words. When you speak, his soul radiates how much he… Dorothy, I don't need eyes to see how you both feel. Wanting to spend time with the one you love isn't selfish: it's natural. Tell me I've misread you both?"

Dorothy looked again at the soldiers scouring the town. After, she turned to look around the disheveled room and down at her empty satchel. She trained her blurred vision on that. She said nothing. What could she say?

"Then God will work out the rest. I know things are beyond bleakness right now, but trust Him to bring things to where they are meant to be."

"Easier said… said than done right now."

"I know." The reverend stood to leave, but stopped at the door. "Oh, and Dorothy…"

"Y-yes, Reverend?"

"I believe this is yours. Sergeant O'Conner dropped it in front of Loren's when he stormed through town earlier." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the item O'Conner had snatched minutes after barging in. Mint. Something so simple. Cloud Dancing filled his present with her favorite tea leaves and the simple gesture spoke more than words could. Dorothy took the pouch from her friend and hugged it to her heart for dear life. "Thank you so very, very much, Reverend."

He nodded and added, "If you need anything," while walking out the door.

Dorothy rubbed the small brown bag against her cheek before bringing it to her lips for a soft kiss. For now, this and a small damaged bouquet were her only links to the man she had come to adore.

~FIN~


End file.
